My love hate relationship with Art.

This is to remember my late father.

He was a simple but stubborn man who had no qualm to tell you to piss off if he smells ‘bullshit’ . Yes, even with severe dementia. He passed away on 17 May 2020 morning, leaving us to deal with all the ‘BS’ about social distancing & discarded face masks.

Photo taken by Lee Ching Ching

Some days I am in the flow,

Some days it sucks,

And it continues for many days.

What happened? How did I lose it?

Why did I even start? I ponder.

I looked at my pens, paints, brushes,

And in despair,

I pick them up again and plow on.

…

I got to this point because I am curious,

I got to this point because I want proof,

I got to this point because I have a message,

I got to this point because I can,

I got to this point because it liberates me.

…

Art,

You make me confused and crazy.

I can’t decide.

Is it more paint?

Or more water?

Does it matter?

You make me hate and love myself.

Even doubt myself.

Over and over.

…

But you make me dream beyond dreams.

Every stroke of paint brings me closer.

Every splash of color creates a memory.

Every shade makes me remember.

I have been here.

How can I forget.

You are my creation.

Photo by Lee Ching Ching

Papa,we will remember.